Philosophy of a Dog

Spike heard that his sister got to do a guest post about the philosophy of a parrot. Everyone knows that dogs are better than birds. Dogs have been man's best friend for at least 15,000 years, and parrots aren't even domesticated. Every dog has his day, and here is Spike's worldly wisdom.

Wag your tail, even if your tail is just a nub.

Wake up early and chase your tail before breakfast.

Drink lots and lots of water.

There is never a bad time for a nap.

Go for a walk every day, and if you can't, just jump three to five feet straight up until you've had enough.

Every time someone puts food or water in your dish, rush straight outside and do a couple of laps around the yard. Do it again when your sister gets her dishes filled just to be on the safe side.

When you chase your tail, make sure to stop and go the other way or you'll turn into a corkscrew.

Greet people effusively every time they come home.

You can hear everything in the world if you listen hard enough.

Sniff flowers.

Gender isn't everything. I'm an N for Neuter and Sissy is a U for Undetermined. Defy categories.

There are over two hundred breeds of dogs, and that means at least one for everyone!

Bark at the mailman or he might get inside.

Ball. BALL. BALL!

Vigilance! Do a perimeter check of the yard and each room every day.

Ask nicely and you might get a belly rub.

Don't leave perfectly good food on the floor.

Conserve water and don't bathe unless ordered.

Get your shots.

Roll in the grass.

Every now and then, run with your leash off.

Carry your ID everywhere you go.

It's good to get back to the garden and get your paws in some nicely turned soil.

Nice dogs usually have nice humans.

I don't know. Am I a good boy?

Chocolate is actually bad for you.

Insects are high in protein.

Snuggle. Snuggle in groups.

Stuffed animals have an expiration date.

If you want to make new friends, bring them a ball and put it in their lap.

Appreciate delightful fragrances, or any kind of fragrance, really.

Who says an old dog can't learn new tricks?

If you're good enough, you might get a cookie.

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