Make a wish. Why not?
Whenever there’s something you want, ask yourself, Why not? Why shouldn’t it happen? Why shouldn’t I get it?
Almost always, the answer is, Go right on ahead. Nothing is stopping you. There really aren’t any reasons why you shouldn’t have something.
Wishing feels selfish to many people. They ask, Why SHOULD it happen? Why SHOULD I get it? Why me? There are lots of great answers to these questions.
Say you wish for a job, and you get it. If you get the job, it means you were the best applicant. People more experienced than you interviewed several people, so if they chose you, then you can feel confident that they knew what they were doing. You’re the best. You’ll be the one who commits and does the best job. That makes your boss’s life easier, helps the company to run more smoothly, helps your coworkers to get their work done, and ultimately helps your customers. When you wish for a better job, you’re really wishing to give more to more people.
Say you wish for a nicer place to live. You apply for an apartment or you buy a house, and you get it. You’re the best tenant and the best neighbor. You’re happier there than you were at your old place, and because of this, your very presence improves the neighborhood. You take care of your home and the area around it, and you look out for everyone around you. When you wish for a nicer place to live, you’re making the world a better place just by being there.
Say you wish for romance. You meet someone and you’re irresistibly drawn to one another. You get to know each other, and you realize that everything is just better when you’re together. Your appreciation of this person, your delight in their presence, makes them feel loved and wanted. They can’t believe their luck, that they would meet someone like you who would be so pleased to be with them. When you wish for romance, you’re beaming more love into the world.
Where are the flaws in these examples?
It doesn’t work if you want the results without giving back.
If you wish for a job where you get a lot of money for complaining, procrastinating, being rude and impatient with customers, and spreading negative gossip about your coworkers, well, good luck with that.
If you wish for a nicer place to live, but then you pay your rent late, don’t do routine maintenance or communicate with the property manager, make a lot of noise, leave a bunch of junk and trash around your yard, and fight with your neighbors, well, then it isn’t really a nicer place to live anymore, is it?
If you wish for romance, but what that means to you is that someone nicer than you in every way waits on you hand and foot while you criticize everything they do, well, we shall see.
What makes it work is that you are ready to give. Give first and give lavishly.
Wish for a career that challenges you to live up to your full potential, something that brings out more in you than you realized you had. What would it feel like to have a job that you didn’t hate, that wasn’t drudgery, that you didn’t dread morning and night? What would it feel like to actually love what you do and feel fascinated with it? Bring that feeling to work with you. When you do, doors magically start to open, because this attitude makes you a dream employee.
Wish for a home where you feel safe and comfortable, a place where you love to come home and spend your time. When you really love where you live, you’re inspired to make it beautiful and welcoming, to yourself and others. This adds charm to your street and inspires other people to carry that feeling back to their own homes.
Wish for a relationship filled with mutual delight and appreciation. When you find someone you simply enjoy, someone you like and respect, you show it. Your positive regard comes through when you’re a good listener and a good friend, when you demonstrate your affection by doing nice things and being emotionally present. The conversation flows and you develop into companions. There’s a certain peace in being with someone, when you trust and understand one another. It helps you both to be better friends to other people whom you know more casually. It can also help you both to provide a sense of solidity to family and others in the community. Show them how it’s done.
Wait, it can’t be that easy. It can’t! I can’t just have all my wishes come true, can I? That doesn’t even make sense! What about my selfish wishes?
Why not? Why wouldn’t you be willing to step up and be the best employee or the best boss, the best tenant or the best neighbor, the best wife or husband or boyfriend or girlfriend? Ask yourself that first.
What about the selfish wishes, though? I have so many!
It isn’t wrong to wish for things. It’s neutral.
If I wish for a stack of pancakes, I can make them, which doesn’t bother anyone, or I can suggest it and someone else in the house can make them, which I can receive as a gift of love that I then gratefully reciprocate at a later point. (Maybe by cleaning the kitchen afterward). I can also go out and buy a stack of pancakes, which provides someone else an opportunity to make a living selling those pancakes. (I hear they’re selling like hotcakes). I could perhaps also steal someone else’s pancakes, which would cause trouble for me, pointlessly. If I was really that hungry, I could offer to make the pancakes for someone else: You supply the kitchen and the ingredients, I’ll do the cooking and the cleanup. Maybe my obsessive desire for hot fresh pancakes turns into a beloved breakfast cafe and I can be surrounded by them all day long.
It’s really hard to make a true wish that doesn’t benefit multiple people along the way.
Wishes have a way of rippling outward, turning into bigger wishes that then trigger yet more wishes. Along the way, these wishes ignite new relationships and generate economic activity. Why not? Why not wish for anything you want?
I've been working with chronic disorganization, squalor, and hoarding for over 20 years. I'm also a marathon runner who was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and thyroid disease 17 years ago.