This is a terrific book. I have seen Jia Jiang’s 100 Days of Rejection blog, and I expected the book to be simply an expansion of the videos he posted, with a bit of autobiography thrown in. It’s a short book, so that sounded like plenty of entertainment for me. Instead, Jiang goes much deeper, researching the physical effects of rejection on the body, and hypothesizing different approaches to avoid or overcome rejection. This makes Rejection Proof an inspirational book unlike any other. Most motivational books involve someone who has undergone extraordinary circumstances. In one sense this is very impressive; in other sense, it makes it harder to see how the lessons may be applied to the struggles of an ordinary person. Jiang gives scenarios that could easily be duplicated by anyone, anywhere. Shyness has been an issue for me my entire life. Many people who know me would find this difficult to believe, which is what everyone says, because I am a shy extrovert. I suspect that Jiang may be like me in this respect. Being a gregarious, friendly person with a certain amount of self-confidence is no proof against shyness. The more I want something, or the more I want to talk to someone and be friends, the harder time I have with shyness. Stage fright was a truly huge issue for me when I was younger. I was once scheduled to recite a scripture I had memorized at a church recital. I crawled under a table and refused to come out until it was promised that I would not have to perform. Of course, the scene I made was much more embarrassing for me and my family than even the worst mumbling, lame performance could ever have been. I no longer have a problem with stage fright. I have no problem whatsoever taking over the center of a dance floor, singing karaoke, or wearing my Free Hugs T-shirt at a parade. These are merely public performances, often in front of people whom I will never see again. Those are low-stakes scenarios. Contemplating rejection on the personal, intimate level is a completely different beast. What I love so much about Rejection Proof Is that Jiang puts so much thoughtful consideration into the strategy of his project. He is experimenting, trying to get to the root of his issues with rejection, and finding a solution that will work for his personal circumstances. He leverages his creativity and persistence to come up with something original. He makes himself vulnerable, sharing his discomfort and awkwardness with basically the entire world. The results are funny, endearing, engaging and wonderfully inspirational. It is hard to imagine anyone reading this book and walking away without feeling at least slightly more open to possibility. Malcolm Gladwell introduced a lot of people to the “10,000-Hour Rule,” based on research by Anders Ericsson. The idea is that people who excel in any field from sports to music to business reach a world-class level after roughly 10,000 hours of practice. Outliers was a best-seller. I’m sure I’m not the only person who read it and became captivated by the idea that excellence comes from discipline, not just innate talent. I put the book down and thought, “Okay, how long is 10,000 hours?” It turned out to be not quite three years’ worth of 8-hour days. Another way to break it down was 12 years of 2-hour practice sessions, which was much more manageable. At my age this was not a problem. Clearly I had the time to devote to reaching world-class performance at something. But what? That question sprang up of its own accord. What would I want to be that good at? Anything? Nothing immediately cropped up except another question. “What about… 1,000 hours? Or… 100 hours?” Surely 100 hours would be enough to make noticeable progress in something. That would be a good start to test out the hypothesis. When I thought of 100 hours, something did come to mind. Cooking. I was a newlywed, and my cooking skills were somewhere between ‘beginner’ and ‘sexist joke.’ I looked to my bookcase full of unused cookbooks and formulated a plan. As it turned out, there was a huge improvement in my cooking in more like 10 hours. I learned about mise en place and wondered how I ever managed without it. As a novice, I would turn on the burner and try to prepare all the ingredients in the order they appeared, not always realizing I didn’t even have everything the recipe required until I was halfway in. I started noticing patterns in recipes, such as which herbs and spices were added at the beginning and which aromatics went in last. I started understanding how much cooking time differed for different vegetables. By the time I hit 100 hours, I was beginning to be able to throw together a decent meal without using a recipe. At 1,000 hours, I wrote my own little cookbook. One criticism of the 10,000-Hour Rule is that hours are not enough. Excellence takes focus on improving the weakest areas, competent coaching, and sometimes traits like height or age or finger span that can’t be gotten through time commitment. We do want to keep in mind that it’s more important to accept critique than to stubbornly pound away at the same mistakes over and over. It’s encouraging to realize that sometimes only a few evenings of dedicated effort may lie between us and a tantalizing new skill. Being good at something is really satisfying. We don’t necessarily have to worry about being ‘great’ when ‘good’ is good enough. As it turns out, being willing to put in a few hours here and there can make a lot of interesting things much more accessible. |
AuthorI've been working with chronic disorganization, squalor, and hoarding for over 20 years. I'm also a marathon runner who was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and thyroid disease 17 years ago. This website uses marketing and tracking technologies. Opting out of this will opt you out of all cookies, except for those needed to run the website. Note that some products may not work as well without tracking cookies. Opt Out of CookiesArchives
January 2022
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