Clutter’s Moments of Truth

These balloons already looked like this days earlier

A moment of truth is a realization, an epiphany, a moment of clarity. In business and marketing, it’s the moment the customer decides to make a purchase. I like to think there’s more to life than deciding to buy things, but maybe that’s just me. In some situations, all we need is one moment of truth. With others, it takes several. Sometimes, maybe no amount of information is enough to get us to change what we’re doing.

Example: When I’m giving myself a paper cut, and all I can seem to do is to watch it happen in slow motion rather than drop the paper

What are some common moments of truth?

Realizing these leftovers are past the point of no return

Looking at the clock and realizing you’re going to be late

Not being able to button those pants

The thing about clutter is that it’s not a single object. Generally, any one thing has its reasons for being there. There’s a long list of reasons to keep every single thing, or explanations for how it got to be where it is. It’s hard to single out particular items from a cluttered space and eject them. How do you know what to pick? This is why clutter tends to lead to multiple moments of truth.

1. When you saw it
2. When you decided to bring it home
3. When you put it wherever you put it
4. When you first decided to get rid of it
5. When it finally got put in a staging area
6. And then moved to another staging area
7. [repeat as often as necessary]
8. When it was completely removed

One of the reasons that it’s so common to clean up a space and then clutter it up again is that each of these steps needs more examination and introspection. If all we do is Step 4 and Step 8, we’re not pausing to consider why the space got this way.

1. When we see it - How much time are we spending staring at things with swirly eyes?
2. When we decide to bring things home - How much time are we spending at stores and shopping centers? How much time are we spending touching and handling and stroking and fondling and bagging and carrying material objects?
3. When we put things wherever we put them - Do we have any kind of system in place? Is the available space already full? Are we monopolizing common areas with our personal possessions? Are we hoarding in other people’s personal space? Can we find everything we need when we need it?
4. When we finally decide to get rid of something - What’s the trigger? Moving? Making room for new stuff? When something gets broken or stained? Spring cleaning?
5. When we put things in a staging area - Are we removing things the same day we decide to get rid of them? Or do they sit somewhere else first? A staging area might be: The “yard sale” pile; the garage; the front porch; a vehicle; a box, bag, or whatever
6. When we move things we’ve already staged - This almost always happens when the stuff marked “donate” or “yard sale” sits around indefinitely. Often it gets shuffled back into the house.
7. When we continue to move things we were supposedly getting rid of - We’re procrastinating on having that supposed “yard sale” or dropping things off at the thrift store; we don’t actually intend to ever get rid of any of our stuff, we just want social credit for pretending to do it
8. When the clutter is finally removed - What’s the trigger? Does someone else have to step in and help? Will it only go if someone asks if they can have it, like for a charity rummage sale? Is it waiting for a “forever home”?

Sorting clutter is a “bottom up” process. That means we’re starting with what’s already there and trying to impose order on it. The “top down” way to do it is to start with the function and appearance of the space, what needs to be there, and then remove everything that doesn’t work. Most American homes could shed half the stuff from every room. My people, the chronically disorganized and the compulsive accumulators, can usually get rid of 80% or more.

Sleep in the bedroom, cook in the kitchen, eat at the table, sit on the couch, work at the desk, go places on time, find everything on demand.

Or, if you’re one of mine: share your bed with laundry, books, papers, and food packaging; cook nowhere and never; pile the table with food, dishes, and shopping bags; bury the couch under a pile of laundry; which desk?; be late everywhere; search for stuff endlessly.

The longer I do this work, the harder it is for me to understand why so many people prioritize inanimate objects over and above their quality of life. They’ll shed genuine, bitter tears over a cracked figurine or a keepsake with water damage. But they don’t even seem to notice how cramped they are in their own homes, how their stuff interferes with their daily routine.

There are other realizations that can happen, moments of truth that allow for a new perspective:

1. When you finally see it all as one giant mass
2. When you fall in love with a beautiful, uncluttered room (restaurant, hotel, friend’s house)
3. When you travel and don’t miss any of your stuff
4. When you see your place through a new friend’s eyes
5. When you have to move and try to pack everything
6. When your clutter causes an accident
7. When you realize you’ve been annoying yourself and you know it’s time to stop
8. The day you finally just get started!