It’s time for my new hobby, hurling verbal abuse at our little uninvited guest.
Hey Covid! Get away from my husband, you inhuman stain, you cosmic mistake, I’d stomp you flat but I wouldn’t want you getting my shoes dirty.
Mockery and disdain are a big part of my spiritual arsenal, that’s how I beat my thyroid nodule over 20 years ago. You see, this isn’t my first time being freaked out by a body invader. Had my first cancer scare as a young woman, thyroid nodule so big it caused a tickle in my throat. Couldn’t talk when I was lying on my back, goiter pressing on my larynx. Yep, an actual goiter in the 20th century.
I sure didn’t want to get cancer, not at age 23. I would ride my bike all around Portland, screaming at it, YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! HOW DARE YOU! F*** YOU THYROID!
I was on the gurney in a hospital gown, literally waiting to be wheeled into surgery for a needle biopsy, when the ultrasound technician told me the nodule was gone. All that was left of it was basically the size of the biopsy they would have taken. Cancer doesn’t shrink. They told me to go put my clothes on and go home. Just stop by and see the phlebotomist for a blood sample, be on the safe side.
Remember when they used to test everything, just in case??
Good luck with that. Highly contagious pandemic and you can’t beg, borrow, or steal a coronavirus swab.
I’m feeling better today, by which I mean, slouching into the couch all day and texting people complete sentences. No vertigo! I can walk across the room without leaning on anything! If you didn’t know better I would just look like a tired, unfashionable teenager.
Hubby put in a full workday, which provides zero information about his state of health because Upholders categorically do not believe illness applies to them. Got my eye on him, still hoping he will be fine but suspect he is in for a rough weekend.
Got some information today. My plaintive cry, How do I hospital? was answered. (Will share this week). Did you know, if you have an intimate acquaintance with chronic illness, it can be useful to other people? Maybe you have quit sharing with friends and family, but guess what, others on the internet may be desperately Googling for information about your condition.
I wanted to know what to bring to the hospital. Some other questions might be, did you ever have some kind of respiratory therapy? What exercises did they give you? Did you ever have vertigo, how do you manage it? Have you ever had to track health metrics, what format do you use? Do you have experience managing nausea or recovering from something like food poisoning? Have you and partner ever had flu together while caring for tiny kids, any tips?
Anecdotal: my friend from Virus Brunch who did not get sick speculates that her lupus medication may have been prophylactic against COVID-19. I AM NOT A DOCTOR and I don’t even know what she was taking; I certainly would NOT recommend that anyone else randomly swallow pills. Don’t even know the name of her prescription. I share for three reasons:
BTW I dropped my iPad, slipped off the bed last night and the screen went black. Have to sit at my actual desk and it is making me tired. Too tired to finish troubleshooting it after hard reboot and connecting to iTunes didn’t work. Would dearly love to have it fully restored without reformatting but if this is the karmic price of something, I’ll happily pay it, fair trade!
Talked to my other friend who is already better. She is an extreme extrovert and is having a terrible time feeling alone and trapped in her tiny apartment. Pointed out to her that she might be immune now after recovering from COVID-19 and that she could safely help her parents or sister if they get sick.
And then me too!
This is my plan. I’m actually feeling well enough already that I know I could put a simple meal together if I had to. I can bring my hubby water & pills if he gets sick.
One of the reasons I finally decided I was ready to remarry was that I got the flu while living alone. Eight days flat on my back and I didn’t even have someone to bring me juice. Recognized I was getting older and this would probably become more of a problem at 70 and 80 than it was at 20 and 30.
Gee was I right about that! But I have had to crawl on the floor to get myself a drink of water, call nurse hotline when I could barely hold the phone to my head, nurse myself back to health. I have the grit and fortitude within me, I can get us through from this point.
Knowing this, once we are both through the gate, how could I possibly sit back and not use my new super power?
I’m going to stomp a mud hole in this thing and then I’m going to step right over its twitching remains and march right out the door. If I hear about a family in my district getting sick I’m going straight over there to put things in order. Fearless.
Each of us has something we are very good at that we totally take for granted, something else we truly enjoy doing, and something else we think is boring or repulsive. I hate driving and don’t have a car, so I’m not the person to run errands or buy groceries for shut-ins. I passed out the one time I tried to donate blood. But, two things I am good at are 1. Writing about health issues and 2. General Mary Poppins stuff. Former nanny, executive secretary, restorer of the chronically disorganized, vanquisher of squalor, nothing is too gross for me. It actually seems kind of fun to wade in, wave my wand, and help another household get through the worst two weeks of its life.
At least this is my fantasy. Technically I should not be leaving the house for at least fourteen days.
I emailed an update to my doctor, because I didn’t have the most typical symptoms (fever or sore throat), virtually no cough, but I still can’t smell or taste anything and atypical experiences are relevant. It looks like this thing has already morphed into 8 separate strains and maybe I just had the SoCal flavor. Before I go anywhere or do anything I will of course be smart, research, ask around, get the clinical all-clear. Which would take me two weeks anyway!
I've been working with chronic disorganization, squalor, and hoarding for over 20 years. I'm also a marathon runner who was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and thyroid disease 17 years ago.
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