"How to Autumnize Your Home"

​I got a funny email asking if I'd want to link my blog to some kind of real estate decorator challenge. In practice I think that means that I provide them free "content" at no discernible benefit to myself. It probably also means they want me to teach people how to decorate seasonally. What is funny about this is that holiday decorations are my pet peeve, and since several of my neighbors took it upon themselves to starting putting up Christmas decorations over a week ago, I'm in even more of a lather about this topic than usual. But sure, I'll throw out some seasonally appropriate autumnal tips. What the hey?

Tip One: Go outside every day and look around. Notice that the constellations have shifted, if you have a clear night. Notice that the moon is in different positions in the sky. Notice the trees. Notice the clouds.

Tip Two: Eat seasonal foods. Tomatoes and melon aren't exactly going to taste good at this time of year anyway. Seasonal foods are cheaper and riper. They're somewhat of a novelty if you are always eating according to the seasons. Also, it's easier to find recipes that seem to fit the weather. The thing I like best about fall is that the weather has cooled off enough to use my oven. That means soups, casseroles, and pot pies!

Tip Three: Weatherize. I don't know about you, but I freaking hate being cold. I get chilly when it gets below 75 F. I also hate wasting money, and that's what happens when all that nice expensive heated air blasts into the outdoors. Window film is inexpensive and easy to put up, even for a single short person. Even a rolled-up towel works to block drafts under an exterior door. Our big fall/winter thing is to put a blanket over our laps - the dog loves to crawl under there and sleep until his own body heat drives him out for a breather. It was still 89 F during the day when, I am not kidding, I had to put four comforters on my side of the bed. It's been getting down to 55 degrees at night. I have to wear SOCKS.

Tip Four: Get more sleep. The sun is going down earlier, and that's nature's way of telling us it's time to hibernate. Just go to bed early, snuggle up with a book (no blue screens), and let yourself get drowsy. Sleeping more is the secret to happiness. Try sleeping nine hours a night for three weeks and write down your results.

Tip Five: Pause and reevaluate your holiday decorations. It boggles my mind the way someone will spend six hours retrieving and displaying holiday decorations, when that same person balks at spending four minutes unloading the dishwasher or ten minutes putting away a load of nice fresh laundry. If you have a storage unit and you also have a big collection of holiday decorations, get a tape measure and make some connections. Is it really worth all that space (and cash) to put on that huge display? Even if you leave it all up for three months like several of my neighbors do? Granted, I am a bah humbug, but isn't one bin enough?

Let's see, what am I forgetting? Scented candles? Nah, you probably already have those. A bunch of bric-a-brac? Nah, I'm sure you have that covered also. Boots and sweaters? Gosh, I sure hope so! If you can manage it, see if you can train a squirrel to climb up on your dining table and hold an acorn long enough to Instagram it. That's pretty autumnal, right?

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