Philosophy of a Parrot

Noelie is an African Gray Parrot. She's just had her eighteenth hatch day. She'd like to share some of her worldly wisdom.

She was born and she also hatched. She's entered this world two different ways, and she sees things we don't see. Hatching out of an egg takes a lot of work. Have you ever spent that long doing anything that difficult?

Sleep twelve hours a night. It will give you a sweet disposition and a glossy red tail. Nothing interesting happens after the sun goes down, anyway.

Eat your vegetables, if you're lucky enough to get them. Zucchini! Kale! Green beans! Collard greens! Chard! Cucumber! Cabbage! Cauliflower! Broccoli! Bell pepper! LETTUCE!

Hang upside down at least ten percent of every day.

Stressed out? Chew on a block of wood, punch a bell with your face, or shred something.

Say "WHEW!" and pump your fist.

Start a hobby, such as chewing shoelaces, chewing wicker, or chewing library books.

Gratitude is happiness. Kiss your friends. Kiss the dog. Kiss babies. Kiss your toys. Kiss your water bowl. Kiss your foot. Kiss the wall.

Go outside and enjoy the garden whenever you can.

Look at the sky. There might be another bird up there, or an airplane. We live in a 360-degree world and you should take the time to notice all of it.

Eat until you're satisfied, and then throw the rest at the wall.

Never miss an opportunity to play on a swing.

Note to self: get more paracord.

Take time to eat the roses.

You may walk slowly and run crooked, but if you can stand on one foot for an hour and lift your foot to your head, let them laugh.

Grooming is a top priority. Every feather, every day. Chew your foot scales until they are presentable.

A world with SHOWER TIME is a perfect world.

Make new friends. They might be willing to scratch your head.

Watermelon keeps your tail red.

It's never too late to learn a foreign language, such as Sparrow or Starling.

About ten percent of the people who meet you may find you intimidating or scary. Don't mind them; it's their loss.

Music is everything, everything. Sing when you feel like it, and if anyone complains, sing louder!

Meowing is funny.

Plan to live a very long life in case you actually do. What if you lived to be 119? I might!

They're not looking at you, they're looking at me. Because I'm GORGEOUS, darling.

---