We Traded Houses

We traded houses for the day.

I was happy you came to stay.

You woke up in my cozy bed

And I woke up in yours instead.

First into my bathroom gleaming

You stepped, and had a shower steaming.

Then your breakfast: time to eat!

The table’s clear, so have a seat.

You looked around in disbelief.

It must have looked as if a thief

Had stolen all my stuff, because

There was no clutter, dirt, or fuzz.

No laundry pile or paper file

No dishes stacked or stuff unpacked

And not a room that looked ransacked.

But I was at your place, meanwhile.

Don’t worry, there won’t be a scandal –

There’s nothing here that I can’t handle.

I started at the kitchen sink

Because I needed space to think.

With all the dishes there to scour

It took me nearly half an hour

But I felt glad that it was done.

At my house they’re washed one by one.

I started on the laundry next

And I confess, I felt perplexed.

The real work’s done by machine!

Clothes are easiest to get clean.

I kept it tumbling through the day

Wondering why it piled up that way.

While it ran, I took a broom

And knocked down cobwebs, room by room.

Ten minutes spent on doing that –

I wish that I had worn a hat –

And then I thought I’d try to dust.

But there was so much stuff, I’d bust

My hump before I got it all.

It kinda makes the place look small.

Before I got demoralized

I thought of how you’d look surprised

When you came home and saw my work.

That gave me back a bit of perk.

It was a lot of work to do,

This gift that I had planned for you,

Which I did because I wanted to.

Oh, how fast the hours flew.

I hauled the trash and cleaned the floors

Scrubbed the bathroom, and other chores

Like chiseling the microwave.

These are jobs I’d never save

To use up half my weekend.  Geez!

Just what is this, burned-on cheese?

I looked up, and I saw with shock

That it was nearly six o’clock.

Time to put the dinner on.

All my mojo was nearly gone.

I thought how happy you would feel

To come home to a fresh, hot meal.

I heard you walk in through the doorway

And I started to turn your way.

“Hello, dear friend, how was your day?

I hope that you enjoyed your stay.”

But when I turned around, I saw

That there was tension in your jaw.

You didn’t like what I had done.

You thought that I was making fun

Of you and of your housekeeping.

You wished I hadn’t done a thing.

You felt so judged and persecuted.

You bawled me out, and I stood rooted

To the spot.  My gift rejected,

I must admit, I felt dejected.

Can you tell me why on earth

You connect housework with self-worth?

It isn’t all that hard to do

As I had tried to show to you.

It’s easier to live my way

And do a little every day

Than let it pile up like that.

I feel like someone took a bat

And beat me with it, neck to knees.

Now I need some Advil, please.

What a yucky way to spend

Half the time of your weekend!

Forty minutes is all I spend

To clean my house from end to end.

It’s the only strategy

That can preserve my energy.

I guess we’re not friends any more

Since I dared to mop your floor.

Maybe when you taste my soup

It will help us to regroup.

I wanted just for you to find

Some relaxation, peace of mind,

And maybe get a brand new start.

I wish that for you, from my heart.

---