Dealing With Stuff
  • Dealing With Stuff
  • About
  • Contact

What to do with a wedding dress

5/5/2015

 
Picture
If there has ever been a sentimental object that is hard to let go, the wedding dress is a serious contender.  (Funeral urns are probably in first place).  The odd thing about wedding dresses is that we tend to keep them even if the marriage was a total failure.  Let’s think about the logic of this for a minute.  We spend more on one garment than we’ve ever spent on another piece of clothes, for something we’ll wear once, and then dedicate storage space to it while struggling to make room for our work wardrobe, even if the very thought of the groom that went with it makes us shudder.  Weird, isn’t it?

My husband wore his suit to our wedding.  He still has it.  He wore it to a business conference a couple of weeks ago.  In fact I think he may have worn the same shirt and tie as well.  Think how odd it would be for a woman to wear her wedding gown to a work gig!

I wore my grandmother’s dress to my first wedding.  I was the only granddaughter, and Nana and I were the same height.  If I hadn’t gotten divorce cooties all over it, I could probably have pulled it on this morning and worn it.  What actually happened was that I had to have five inches added in the waist, because I used to be fat.  The dress was a 1939 satin stunner with a beaded collar and a train.  It cost $19.99 off the rack.  My grandparents were married over 50 years.  It was a legacy dress and now I can’t bear the sight of it.  It may be in a closet somewhere, and maybe one of my cousins’ daughters could wear it, but maybe she would feel the same way I do: divorce cooties!  Ugh!

My second wedding was a bit more pragmatic.  I went to Ross and bought a white dress for $36.  I still have it and we’ll be at six years this summer.  I’ve lost over 20 pounds since then.  I haven’t tried the dress on, but it was a bit too long at the wedding and I’m sure it will be “longer” now.  The reason I saved it was that I thought it would be romantic to wear at our 25th wedding anniversary, or perhaps our 40th.  (Not sure we’ll make it to 50, but we’ll certainly do our best).  I’ve started to question how flattering this too-big, too-long, low-cut dress might be on my elderly self, and I think I’m ready to let it go.  I ran it by my husband.

Me: “I’m thinking about selling my wedding dress.”

Him: “I didn’t realize you still had it.”

Me: “I wanted to run it by you in case you wondered what I was doing and took it as some kind of sign.”

Him: “If you wore it at our anniversary, it would probably have taken me a few minutes to recognize it.”

Me: “Yeah, like whenever they play the song from our first dance!”

Weddings are something most men accept as a ceremonial tradition to get out of the way so they can get on with being married.  “Just tell me what to wear and where to stand.”  A wedding is basically a big photo op.  If I had ours to do over again, I’m 70/30 in favor of eloping to Vegas, and I don’t think anyone in either of our families would have had a real issue with that.

The real sentimental, romantic object for me is my ring.  It’s an unambiguous, plain gold band from an ethical jeweler.  It’s never left my hand.  This ring has been on my finger through every minute of our marriage, everywhere we have traveled, and everything we’ve done together as life mates.  It’s a very potent symbol.  It’s also… pretty practical.  I’ve worn it running a marathon, climbing a mountain, fording streams, pounding tent stakes, climbing up and down ropes, crawling under barbed wire, jumping over open flames, and standing waist-deep in mud, not to mention while folding laundry, scouring pots, and clipping the dog’s nails.  Anyone who wants to do all that stuff in a poofy white dress: video or it didn’t happen.

I believe in marriage.  I believe in romance.  I believe in love, not just heteronormative love, but love, end of story.  What I don’t believe in is going into debt for a ceremonial garment, keeping a symbol of a dead relationship, or hanging onto an heirloom that could cause quarrels among the potential heirs.  My wedding was not the happiest day of my marriage – just the first day – and maybe letting go of my dress could bring a little luck to a new bride.


Comments are closed.
    New podcast!
    Clutter of the Day

    Author

    I've been working with chronic disorganization, squalor, and hoarding for over 20 years.  I'm also a marathon runner who was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and thyroid disease 17 years ago.

    I have a BA in History.

    I live in Southern California with my husband and our pets, an African Gray parrot and a rat terrier.

    #Questioner
    #ENTP

    This website uses marketing and tracking technologies. Opting out of this will opt you out of all cookies, except for those needed to run the website. Note that some products may not work as well without tracking cookies.

    Opt Out of Cookies

    Archives

    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015

    Categories

    All
    ADHD
    Birdwatching
    Body Image
    Book Reviews
    Books
    Cleaning
    Clutter
    Fibromyalgia
    Filks
    Fitness
    Food
    Future Self
    Futurism
    Goals
    Habits
    Humor
    Languages
    Martial Arts
    Mindset
    Minimalism
    Money
    Motivation
    Moving
    Organization
    Past Self
    Pets
    Preparedness
    Procrastination
    Public Speaking
    Quests
    Relationships
    Resolutions
    Running
    Sleep
    Technology
    The-woowoo
    The-woo-woo
    Thyroid Disease
    Timemanagement
    Time Management
    Tiny Houses
    Travel
    Weight
    Work
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Dealing With Stuff
  • About
  • Contact