COVID-19 Chronicles: He’s Coughing

I hate this movie. All the plot twists are so predictable. Once there was a stupid girl who went to a stupid brunch and then she gave her husband coronavirus.

NOT HIM

I REFUSE to let this be the end of our love story UNACCEPTABLE

I’m going full Karen on this thing, let me speak to your manager you godless vermin

He had to fill out a form for his work, we are on official quarantine now. Which sucks because he has actual mission-critical things to do. And this is all my freaking fault. National disgrace, that’s me.

Here’s another bad movie. Werewolf crouching and covering her face. Someone comes up to touch her shoulder, are you okay?

No, go away! Get away from me, RUN!

But it’s already too late.

How am I doing? Gaslighting myself. On the one hand, the part of me that keeps saying “get up Drama Queen, mop the floor,” the part that couldn’t believe I was ill refuses to believe this is really happening. On the other hand, noticing I have to pause for breath before finishing short sentences, hate how breathy and wispy my own voice sounds. I know three people now who have lost someone to COVID-19, one fell a hero, COVID doctor in Florida, just last week.

It’s real for them, not for me, serious cognitive dissonance in action.

The part of me that thinks I am a fraud is at battle with the part of myself that would kick a door down to advocate for my man. Don’t mind me - but also, step away, save yourself, you don’t want what I have - but seriously, can we get two doctors, four nurses, and a pharmacist for my husband? NOW??

He cooked dinner, it was good, he’s been doing literally everything for a week. Waiting on me hand and foot while working overtime, counting my pills, everything.

If he gets sick before I get better we’re screwed, not like we can put anyone else in danger to come in and care for us. Who would we even ask?

Have to make plans now. He claims to feel fine but then so did I.

This is the first time I have felt bad about not having a car. But then, even if we did... I don’t know how I would get down to the garage right now, much less drive 17 miles to urgent care. If he gets sick enough to need to go, it’s not like he could drive either. Self driving car where are you when we need you?

Would have to ask one of our friends from Virus Brunch who are already recovering. No way we could in good conscience put a ride share driver at risk. Ambulance? Foolish to wait *that* long. Anticipate several hours’ wait anyway, remember we were just in the ER three months ago for his eye injury.

Could possibly rate a test at this point. Drive-thru test site is only mile and a half. Don’t feel as bad asking for a ride to go do that. Even if it takes two hours.

I have a list of prescriptions from someone else who got treated and recovered. Inhaler, two different cough meds. Know what to ask for if it comes to that. Anyone would be willing to pick up prescriptions, Kaiser pharmacy is a mile up the road, drop off in front of our building. A safe lifesaving favor. Can ask.

What I don’t know is how to prep for hospital and that is driving me crazy. Anyone who is not a busy medical professional can you PM me? A link or checklist or anything? It would ease my mind to have a go bag. Like, underwear, toothbrush, wallet, phone charger, backup battery? Or are you allowed to have anything at all? Is it like jail, do they take your stuff, or is it too dirty?

I’ve never spent the night in a hospital and let’s keep it that way please

I do feel better today. Vertigo fading off, breathing better, think I almost caught the ghost of the taste of mustard. That must be a good sign? As soon as I heard my husband cough it got my Irish up. You messed with the wrong family, get the hell out of here, you’re not even a life form and don’t you dare let my nice clean doorknob hit you.

Have you been reading what I’ve been reading, this virus is so much more dangerous for the men. 2:1. He’s almost 8 years older than me. Yeah I have worried I might die of this but that would be a RELIEF compared to the thought that I live and he...

No

Will not say it, never think it

Ladies, ladies, gender roles are dumb but this time they are based in biology. We should be the ones running any errands or going to the store. Let them handle the big stuff, the coyotes or rabid raccoons or whatever. The microscopic stuff is for us this time.

Spare a thought for us, not for me, for us, for him. He is in a pretty unfair situation right now and I put him there. Please let this just be paranoia on my part, please please

If we make it out I will try to donate plasma, I will make masks ten hours a day, I will stay over and be nurse for a family at their house. Please just let this be a bad movie, zero stars, change the channel already.